Proactive vs. Reactive Living

Are you directing your days or are your days directing you? Think about it. Do you have a plan for the day before your day begins? If not... keep reading

It's 8:12 am and you wake up in a panic! You slept through your alarm again... "How come I'm so tired?" "I didn't get enough sleep" "I have so much to do today" you think in your head. You pull the blankets off of you and get out of bed. The rest of your day feels like a blur, trying to hurry your kids along to eat quicker and to get dressed faster, all while trying not to lose your crap. But you snap (you're tired, remember?) and then spend the rest of the day with Mom Guilt. Why are you running so far behind? How come all these things keep popping up out of nowhere and how can you get them to stop?

Good news Mama, you made it to dinnertime. Shoot! What were we supposed to make for dinner? You don't have a plan, so you get out a box of mac & cheese and some hot dogs and figure that will do. You throw the kids in the bath and get them ready for bed. You skip the pages in the book hoping they don't notice, kiss them goodnight and then look at the mess that lies in front of you. The dishes. The dogs haven't eaten yet. ALL the pillows from the couch are on the floor and every single piece of clothing in your house is dirty it feels. You were planning on watching the new Season of Handmaids Tale but now you are spending your evening cleaning, picking up and trying to get the house back together. You muster up the strength to take a shower, wash your face, brush your teeth and get into bed.

Just then a little voice, "Mommy?" ...and you throw the covers off of you and get back up... that night you don't get enough sleep so you sleep through your alarm the next day and begin your day the same exact way... allowing your day to control your every move.

“If you fail to plan, you're planning to fail."

This used to be me. In fact, just six months ago, this way my life. But what I realized is that it doesn't have to be so hard. It actually can be quite easy when you get on the proactive cycle and in this blog entry, I'm going to tell you how to start.

Take it Week by Week

Let's start by looking at this week coming up. What do you have planned? Do you know? If you don't already have a planner or calendar, that is your first thing you need to do. The key here is to find what works FOR YOU. If putting it in your phone and setting alarms helps you to stay organized, then do that. If having it written out on paper makes your brain feel all warm and fuzzy, then BINGO! Do that. Here's a link to some super cute ones I found on Amazon HERE. Once you're ready, you're going to put in a few things for the week (I plan Sunday to Sunday):

• Any appointments/prior commitments

• Weekly Date Night w/ your Spouse (if applicable): This doesn't have to be "going out" or even spending money. The point of a weekly Date Night is to be spending time together every week with no kids. (and no I don't mean scrolling on your phones laying in bed together) ...more on this later this week

• Kid time (can be 1 on 1 or with all the kids): Again this can be a cheap thing to do. Maybe you schedule out 15 minutes to play Uno, cook together, read, etc.The time you can carve out will be different from Mom to Mom. The goal is to plan time that works for your family doing something with the kids. Not talking about adult stuff, and again... PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE! :)

• Your work schedule

• Spiritual time/Time with God/Meditating/Praying/Journaling: I plan out 1 hour every morning to start my day out right (more on this later). If you've never done this before, start small. Schedule 15 minutes, or start by watching a sermon. My favorite series of all time is THIS by Elevation Church.

• You time: Thats right... time for you to be by yourself Mama. Maybe it's a trip to the nail salon, to meet up with some friends (without kids), or a glass of wine and your favorite show after the kids are in bed.

Question to answer in the comments:

On a scale 1-10 (1 being awful, 10 being a master) how good have you been doing lately with staying proactive? and then describe why.

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